I apologize for being MIA for the past few days but I needed some time alone to think and reflect on certain aspects of life. Anyways before I get started, this post is not about makeup so whether you chose to read or not is entirely up to you.
I think we can all agree that life has its ups and downs and everyone had their share of failure and success. I keep reminding myself that regardless of the outcome, each experience is a stepping stone.
I had my share of struggles and disappointments but for a few years I was able to keep my life balanced and I was actually content. Of course, there are still many goals and expectations that I am taking forever to reach and sometimes uncertainties are difficult to deal with.
Lately, the voices in my head were starting to distort my faith and the obstacle that stood before me never felt this insuperable. It didn't take long for me to succumb to expectations, limitations, and stress. I slowly pulled away and distract myself with my blog, Luuux, and shopping. Finally one day, I decided that I couldn't take it anymore, I let everything go and that's when I realized how empty I felt...How hopeless, I was. It was such a devastating feeling to have nothing left to hope for. I've stopped believing in everything that I fought and bled for because I was afraid. I was so defeated with fear that it took the best of me. It made me doubt in myself and distrust in others.
I consulted my Conscience for wisdom and he said to me "my dear, wisdom can only give you direction but Faith will take you to your destination. And Faith only resides in your heart." So I searched restlessly and deeper into my soul and beneath the darkness I found my Heart. He was still there, beating silently in my chest in spite of the fact that I ignored his presence. I apologized to my Heart "I am so sorry, I have forsaken you. I realize now how much I need you in my life!" And he replied calmly "don't worry, I'm ok. You are strong and I know you will find a way to carry on. I will always be here for you."
I found a token of Hope that my friend gave me not long ago. Amazingly, it is shaped like my heart. I decided to stick it to something that is always by my side so I glued it to my cellphone case that way I am always reminded that I have Hope in my Heart. My cellphone is also my lifeline and means of communication to my sweetheart. So I like how we are all intertwined this way :)
Get one for yourself or give one to someone who might need it. My friend said she got it from the dollar store. It's such a simple yet powerful and spiritual reminder than Faith is the fuel you need in life.
Sometimes we get so disappointed in ourselves for the things we don't have that we take for granted the beautiful things we have right in front of us. Don't forget to listen to your heart. He is the keeper of your Faith.
Pang, this is such an amazing and heart felt post. You've nearly brought tears to my eyes as I was reading it. I don't really know you, and I don't know all of the things you've gone through in your life, but based on what you've said, I can honestly say that I know where you're coming from because I've been there. I had a point in my life where I had felt empty, and everything else that you described. It's definitely a devastating feeling to have nothing to hope for anymore. I've been there, and I've felt it. I agree with you that everything we face in life, whether we want to or not, is just a stepping stone. I have faith and believe that everything happens for a reason. I'm lucky to say that right now, even after all the bull crap I've been through, I'm finally at a good place in my life. I wish the same for you. The worst thing we can do is lose faith. Accept all the challenges that come your way, and realize that you're going to have some failures in your life, but that's okay because each hardship, struggle, and failure you deal with will only make your success story that much more amazing! Let whatever may happen in your life, good or bad, happen. Know that you will come out of it stronger than you were when you got in. You're right. This is such a simple piece, but it represents so much. I'd love something like this. It's very pretty, and especially meaningful as well.
ReplyDeleteThanks Huda for reading and understanding my story. When my friend gave me this token, I thought it was so nice and I left it in the package and it stayed on my desk at work but I am so busy at work that I often forget to look at it. After the soul searching, I decided that I needed to keep this token closer and with me at all times. We often need a little reminder not to lose hope. Faith can be difficult to keep when we face our fears.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I don't know you in real life and I don't know what specific challenge you were going through, I'm glad that you've found hope and faith to move forward. I definitely understand what you mean when you say that you have tried distracting yourself with shopping and blogging. I have done the same but I stopped shopping for the most part in the last few months because I don't have a job and I feel irresponsible spending my parents' money. Thus I also have less to blog about and I end up feeling extremely bored and useless. I've submitted many job applications but so far... nothing. Honestly, many times I've almost lost hope and I even broke down a few times because everything seemed to be against me. I haven't treated my family and friends as well as I should have and I kind of shut myself out from the real world at times. I think I needed this post of yours to help restore my hope and faith in something good happening :) Even if you might think you're at the bottom, remember you aren't alone.
ReplyDeleteI definitely know how you feel, thank you for being brave enough to admit your wavering faith and how you found it again! Very inspirational. I feel as though i also sometimes turn to my blog, luuux, and shopping to subdue the pain. I love those things and everything but I have some underlying issues within my self (that i wont mention here) that are constantly on my mind. My life hasnt been very easy the past few years and i need reminders on a constant basis of how lucky I really am. Thank you for posting this!
ReplyDeleteAngelicBetrayal...It's very important to not take for granted the ones who love you. I know it's easy to get sidetrack and overlook the wonderful things they do for us. For the past few days, all my memories came back and I have to say I felt overwhelmingly blessed and guilty.
ReplyDeleteAmista, I totally agree about the reminders and I think it would be a good idea to keep some around and contemplate them at least once a day, whether it's a lovely inspirational quote, a picture, or something that symbolize an important part or event in your life.
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